A branch saws itself off

Sound the bells. It’s a solemn day. The legislative branch passed away. It only took 219 years.

***

The rain’s pounding outside, and we’re being drenched in the waste of a spineless legislature.

The detainee-treatment itself doesn’t bother me. I won’t lose sleep over torture. We’re a sick species and I accept that. I will sleep less because:

The measure would broaden the definition of enemy combatants [...] to include [...] anyone determined to be an enemy combatant under criteria defined by the president or secretary of defense.

When it comes to the “with us or against us” administration, I may fall on the wrong side of the “or.” And since I am sometimes “against us,” does that make me an enemy combatant?

See, “combatant” bothers me… don’t call me that. And don’t say I’m a sympathizer or supporter. How about “disillusioned citizen?” Does that title make me liable to indefinite detentions, questionable interrogation methods and fuck-all for the appellate system? Sounds like fun!

I’ll try to toe the “with or against” line a little better, I promise. Just don’t bag my head, and throw me naked into a pile with a bunch of other enemy combatants… Make it chocolate cakes. I’d like to be chucked, sans drawers into a big pile of chocolate cakes. I’ll tell you whatever you want. Just give me some cake.

Interrogator: What do you know about the terrorists nuclear capabilities?
Me: I don’t know shit…
I: We have some chocolate cake…
M: Well, they have them! They have, uhhh… was it nukes you just asked about? Yeah? Yeah, they have those. Plenty
I: They do! Where is it? Iran? It’s in Iran, right?
M Yeah. Sure, whatever. Do you have milk?

This Congress has run from Accountability and left the President an extraordinary amount of Power - well beyond what the executive branch deserves. Every Congressman and woman needs to pull their heads out of their asses; it’s not helping them smell their own shit.

I suggested the elimination of voting as a solution many of our problems. But in this case, let’s not bother having an election. If 90% of all incumbents get reelected, then we’re in for a two-year shitstorm of indecision and appeasement. Why bother?
Remember their quick-fix to the immigration problem is a giant fence. They fought to keep Terry Schiavo alive, but did less than shit to revive Louisiana and Mississippi post HK.

Maybe they tried to keep T. Schiavo alive because they empathized… they themselves have been in Persistent Vegetative State ever since 9/11.

***

Read this and you’ll appreciate Zeyad much more.

***

Bob Woodward, the venerated geriatric journalist wrote another meaningless book about something we have all safely assumed. What’s interesting is:

Woodward also reveals that President Nixon’s Secretary of State Henry Kissinger often meets with President Bush, advising him to stay the course in Iraq.

Nixon must be waiting for Bush with a Louisville Slugger somewhere at the entrance of the next life. Richard is probably already hamming it up with this Congress.

I’m calling the undertaker.

One Last Croc

Steve Irwin died, and he took with him everything I loved about insane Aussies in khaki shorts. He was the original Jackass cast member and he will be sorely missed.

We all cope with the loss of a loved one in our own way. Some look for consolation in the love of a friend, some deal in solitude. I post up funny videos.

CRIKEY!