The Lowly Insanity of a Senate Democrat & The Looming Attack from the Right

Update: I saw the interview on the Daily Show. It seems that Schumer’s imaginary friends are just a fictional couple he uses as an example in his book. The problem lies with Schumer’s handlers, who must not have done a good job explaining to Chuck why exactly “imaginary friends” may not be the right term.

Chuck seems rather oblivious to all of this. I love his horrendous smile. It makes me cringe every time.

The rest of my earlier defense of New Yorkers after the jump.

The Crows Call: White Headstones to Clunk, Thud

I began my day at the peaceful sea of white and green, and it was amongst the saddest moments of my life. Arlington National Cemetery - it’s a wonder what self-sacrifice will get you. A few feet of grass, a dinky headstone and a broad-brush monument or two? Really?

Our politicos promise quitting with the same reliability as junkies. Every war ends others, and every battle is the ultimate. “Just this one hit, and no more, man. Then I’m off the needle.”

More than any stone and statues, maybe if the promises of peace were kept, I’d have felt differently at Arlington today. But shit, I can’t look at the place with anything but loathing when too many new stones will be added for too many more decades.

My day ended with seeing the full execution of Saddam Hussein, shot with a cell phone camera.

It’s ultimately meaningless on all accounts, despite what Zeyad says.

I still wonder, if you asked all Arlington’s resting if their sacrifice was worth it, what they’d say?

A Lesson Learned

I strolled out of the Holocaust Memorial lacking the expected feelings of disgust.

Yes, humans can be horrid, horrid creatures with hearts like pennies, greening at the bottom of a fountain. Hoho, there is more to be learned from the rise of Nazism in Germany.

I staggered out, not in awe of the grotesque scenes of corpse-dumping and raw evil, but by the unabetted power of mob mentality.

A government lacking whistle-blowers and bullshit-sniffers gets away with barbarity at worst, and can pull off much less.

Don’t be fooled; I’m not downplaying the evil of Nazi death-camps. But I do believe there is a lesson lost in the shitstorm. Along with gas chambers and the systematic destruction of a people, the ability to fool a nation of meek and hopeless reeks just as much. How easily we blind sheep are duped!

So in cases of national despair, finger-wagging and bullshit-calling may surpass objectivity. Don’t spit government slogans if they aren’t true… piss on them and call them for the shit they are.

Any connection to today is debatable. But I hope to Holy Hell we never reach that point.

Don’t lie to your kids. There is no Santa. You’re only hurting them in the future.

Washington, Distinctly Crumbling

It’s the holiday season in DC, when all the usual suspects scatter, screaming for a vacation from the legislation and execution of national law. It’s a ghost town, with only the occasional batch of families taking pictures of the pretty statues.

How nauseating.

I’m overwhelmed with a deja vu. This is Rome, before the fall and century of neglect. The heart of the world’s current (and some would argue decaying) overlord, with the pomposity and grandiosity to match. It’s the part trying to be greater than the whole, and it stinks like rat feces.

In short, I can’t stand a town that lives and dies with the scum meandering around its streets. Never has there been as undemocratic a city.

The pulse of this city marches in step with the workers, not the inhabitants. By 5, most of this city’s elected residents clock out and headed to their rural comfort zones, taking all bars & shops with them.

Where can a man get a beer after 10 PM! For the love of Christ, my only nearby options are two dive joints and a titty bar.

The obnoxious, spoiled New Yorker that I am, I expect a deli and bar on every block. Maybe I’m asking for much.

I’ve also noticed a connection between the size of a person’s monument, and the amount of pages devoted to them in my fourth grade history text book.

George Washington reaches demigod status, with the giant dick built in his honor. It stands for the 200+ years we have spent fucking with other nations since his presidency. So far we’ve gotten away with it.

The same goes with Presidential portraits. There seems to be a correlation between the President’s historic importance and the size of his portrait at the National Gallery of Portraits. Grover Cleveland’s is tiny! Who the fuck is Grover Cleveland?!

But here’s the one question I cannot possibly answer. Why the fuck is everyone in DC jogging at noon, and where to?

Mahalo and a big stone dick to you all!

This Could Get Ugly

On Wednesday, I’ll land in the black heart of the nation - Washington DC. It’ll be my first ever journey outside of this three-state perimeter I have set for myself.

I expect to see all the usual sights in ways you don’t, and hope to give you a little daily report as to how horrified I am.

That’s if I can get over this fucking flu!

Hope the holidays have treated you well. Mahalo…