Don Imus Fired, Racism Is Over

You got what you wanted.

My late father ran into Don Imus at work, appropriately in the restaurant’s bathroom. He used the urinal next to the “shock jock,” and managed to piss him off while washing his hands.

“Do you know who I am?”
My father stared at him, probably wondering if Imus was his customer. This sort of thing adversely effects your tip.
“I’m Imus from Imus in the morning!” he hissed, still sporting his cowboy hat and radio-friendly face.
“Well I’m Jimi the waiter,” my father said and walked out.

That Imus is a prick of the highest order and says reprehensible things should surprise no one. “Nappy headed hoes” may be one of his lesser offenses, which makes this controversy all the more bizarre.

But as I sit here writing, I’m filling with blinding rage and hate over what has happened in the last few hours. The gutless weasels at CBS fired a cornerstone of their radio programming (to the tune of $20 million last year) for doing his job: saying outrageous things.

The big question is why.

“In our meetings with concerned groups, there has been much discussion of the effect language like this has on our young people, particularly young women of color trying to make their way in this society. That consideration has weighed most heavily on our minds as we made our decision, as have the many emails, phone calls and personal discussions we have had with our colleagues across the CBS Corporation and our many other constituencies.”

You’re full of it Les Moonves. When you look at the timing of this decision, you realize it wasn’t for big-picture moralistic reasons or even political correctness. If CBS found Imus’s remarks reprehensible, they would have pulled the plug on his show within three days of “nappy headed ho” gate. Even three days is generous; that afternoon would have been more appropriate. It wasn’t until major sponsors pulled ads did the axe drop.

I’m of no authority to second guess corporate decision making, but I can demand some level of transparency from corporate bullshit artists. Here are the three reasons Imus got fired:

1. Bad press. The man became a human drum of nuclear waste to CBS & MSNBC.
2. Fleeing advertisers. They’d come back eventually, but how can a corporation like CBS wait out a few months of low revenue?
3. Decaying listeners. The Imus in the Morning program pulls in people who found him outrageous 30 years ago. This is essentially become the depends wearing, foot shuffling class of retiring baby-boomers who think fart jokes are outrageous. This controversy gave CBS a damn good reason to inject fresh blood into their morning radio program that no one will listen to anyway.

Now of course, Imus did apologize in the conniving way only he can. It was meaningless and we all know it.

Rest assured, I’m never listening to WFAN here in New York again. Which means I’ll consume absolutely none of CBS’s programming (CSI has been repeating the same three episodes for the last four years and none of you realize it).

As usual, Pat Robertson seems to have an opinion on it. And as we all know, his opinion is right.

Black men are to blame?  Here’s what Snoop Dogg has to say about that:

It’s a completely different scenario. [Rappers] are not talking about no collegiate basketball girls who have made it to the next level in education and sports. We’re talking about ho’s that’s in the ‘hood that ain’t doing shit, that’s trying to get a nigga for his money. These are two separate things. First of all, we ain’t no old-ass white men that sit up on MSNBC going hard on black girls. We are rappers that have these songs coming from our minds and our souls that are relevant to what we feel. I will not let them muthafuckas say we in the same league as him.

Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, and every company that has ever bought an on-air advertisements must be orgasmic right now. This has set a dangerous precedent showing broadcast companies as spineless money vacuums willing to bend with a momentary change in currents. And it’s a meaningless symbolic gesture.

Imus is still a prick. Racism still exists. Shock jocks are still on the air. What have we gained?